here’s to you, meg
I’m simpler than you think. I’ve figured one thing out about this world– just one, pretty much. You find a cause and you serve it. Give yourself over, and it orders your life.
He’s a badass, though. I thought I was tough when I was thirteen, but Dean would have kicked my ass six ways to Sunday. -John Winchester, March 30th, 1992
Such a lovely face
Lemme break this down for a hot minute.
-Cas reaches for him, trying to show he means no harm. Even as Dean is terrified, he doesn’t let it stop him from helping, even though there’s nothing he can say.
-While looking at Dean with such pain in his eyes that the audience realizes the command is broken but Dean thinks he’s toast.
-Castiel holds his face, cups his cheek as gently as he can to get it done. He doesn’t just touch his forehead. He doesn’t clasp his shoulder. He holds his face in one of the most intimate and intense gestures a person can do to another.
-Dean screams and grabs his hand because A) He assumes this is the kill stroke, and then B) the healing probably hurts for a minute.
-But when Castiel is coming toward him, and even with his hand on his face, Dean does not move. He stays there with Castiel. Like he stayed with Sammy when Lucifer was inside him. He will not leave him.
-Cas holds on, still looking pained. He can probably feel how much Dean is hurting, since he can “see inside him”. The guilt can only be acute.
-Dean is shocked to see him still standing there, not having killed him. And still standing there and not flown off in his guilt.
- Castiel says “I’m so sorry Dean” with more emotion on his face than we’ve seen since he was just Jimmy. The polar opposite of the beautiful but terrifying cold detached face he had while going to beat him earlier. And he doesn’t budge. He stays there and takes the pain. He doesn’t look away. He doesn’t even try to get Dean up. He doesn’t distract either of them. He just stands there and means it down to his soul.
-Healing him, and then going off and giving Dean a minute to breathe, takes energy from Heaven and puts Castiel at risk, but he does it anyway. It’s the last thing of the type he does.
-When Castiel goes Dean doesn’t need to call after him. Because for once he knows exactly where he stands.
This scene actually made me cry. It’s the most intense version of a love scene these characters at this moment could possibly have. It breaks them both down to their honest core, with or without certain words being said. It’s existential love.
It’s the faith that Castiel gave Dean, and that Dean used to save Castiel.